5 Ways to Improve your Co-Parenting Relationship in 2026
Written by Bella Hewlett, with insight from James Pirrie at Family Law in Partnership (FLiP), as part of our Christmas Coparenting series.
A new year can be a helpful moment to reset the emotional tone between co-parents. You do not need a perfect relationship to make things easier for your children, simply small, steady steps to make communication calmer and reduce pressure for everyone.
Here are five ways to build a more supportive co-parenting dynamic in 2026.
1. Understand each other’s communication styles
Every co-parenting relationship works better when the adults understand each other’s communication styles. You might need calm, steady conversations while your co-parent may prefer clear, direct answers.
Talking openly about your needs helps you to meet the other person where they are at, ensuring that when you are communicating you are doing your best to reduce misunderstandings and increase goodwill. By communicating in a way the other person can understand, you will reduce conflict and improve your co-parenting relationship.
James who is a specialist family lawyer, mediator and arbitrator reflects: “If ever you wondered about the need for an expert with Bella’s skills – isn’t this a paragraph that proves it. In so much of the nuts and bolts of legal work, we are grinding through to find the best solution and we get there, but differing communication styles can have a huge effect on how long that takes.”
2. Use tools to help reduce conflict
Children benefit when their parents have simple, reliable ways to communicate. Shared calendars, communication apps such as Our Family Wizard and scheduled check-ins can all help reduce tension.
The goal is not necessarily more communication, but clearer communication. Having a few practical systems or tools can prevent small misunderstandings from growing into bigger conflicts.
James comments, “My current read is “Smart Brevity”, encouraging us to say what we have to say and stopping. Just today a simple communication came with too much back story [which added nothing to the point] and suddenly the flames were alight and there was a risk of losing the helpful suggestion. It is hard to stop giving these narratives, especially when emotions are running high, and I know many people who have benefitted from the help the tech-tools can give us!”
3. Accept that different parenting styles are normal
Many parents find themselves in recurring arguments about everyday matters. Diet, routines, friendships, grandparents, thumb-sucking and screen time are common examples.
It’s important to remember that unless you are clones of one another, then you are going to find yourselves disagreeing on several things. The question to ask is: ‘do I really need to fight them on this?’.
Children benefit when parents allow each other to parent freely, without constant critique. Save your energy for the bigger conversations that genuinely matter.
James adds“I am often asked to intervene in the kinds of every day disagreements that Bella illustrates, and I appreciate that it can be hard to compromise on something as fundamental as diet, but what I have found is that children learn from all the alternatives they see and are often smart about the way to go, so a lot of this will usually fall into place – may be not this week or the next, but over time.”
4. Introduce a review period
If you have worked with a mediator, child consultant or other professional, it can be helpful to build in a review point. Reviewing your arrangements every few months creates space to adjust routines, express concerns and introduce improvements in a calm, structured way.
A planned review is often easier than waiting until tensions rise.
James agrees: “Thank you Bella – those trusted review points are great moments that allow parents to pivot and as a mediator I might bring in a colleague with different skills or knowledges to assist them. It can help for parents, and children, to know that they are not signing up to any arrangements for life – and can review and upgrade a few months down the line, with the experience of what worked and what didn’t to refine the new”.
5. Think well of your co-parent (and let it show)
The way you feel about your co-parent becomes the emotional climate your children live in. Even subtle signs of criticism or resentment can make children feel unsafe or responsible for your feelings.
Children thrive when they see their parents treating each other with respect and recognising each other’s efforts. Thinking well of your co-parent, even quietly, supports your child’s sense of security and helps keep your relationship steady.
“…and this is what we keep in mind when we consider the ‘shortcut’ of going to court. Court proceedings often reinforce criticism and conflict between parents, whereas lighter, quicker approaches—such as mediation or other forms of non court dispute resolution (NCDR) – can reduce tension, encourage cooperation, and achieve workable solutions. Even if these options don’t give you everything you might initially hope for, they often result in better long-term outcomes for both the children and the parents” James concludes.
A gentle reminder as you move into 2026
You do not need to get everything right. Co-parenting is a long-term relationship with ups and downs. What matters most is keeping your communication steady, reducing conflict where you can and creating a consistent emotional tone for your children.
If you’re interested in improving your coparenting relationship in 2026, book a free consultation today.
About James Pirrie
Ranked in Legal 500’s Hall of Fame and cited as ‘one of the doyens in the field of family law’, James specialises in complex family issues arising from divorce and separation. With a focus on non-adversarial and cost-effective approaches to divorce, including mediation, arbitration and collaborative law, James also has a track record of helping clients to achieve excellent outcomes in the court system. James was the first lawyer to train as both a collaborative lawyer and a family arbitrator, and is qualified to arbitrate both financial disputes and children matters. As an accredited mediator, James is also qualified in the commercial model of mediation and child-inclusive mediation. He is the founder of Divorce Diaries, a collection of insights and experiences of former clients going through divorce or separation, which has been shared to help others learn from their experiences. He also led Resolution’s “Parenting after Parting” initiative to heighten lawyers’ awareness of positive co-parenting.