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In his gentle but implacable way, he opened our eyes - against our will - to our responsibility to build a relationship, being one solely for co-parenting.
He did this by placing our children in the forefront of our consideration, particularly in terms of how we appear to them. And by showing kindness and compassion (even if anathema in the most destructive of separations), he demonstrated that the other person would come forward, with positive effects, even long before our hearts follow.
Bella’s role was critical as parents have different incentives to meet, and Bella’s highly constructive and diplomatic approach played a significant role in bringing us both together.”
When I felt lost, Bill gave me hope. Most of all, Bill kept me focussed on the kids, helping me figure out the core of parenting, of being a dad.”
and we were able to finally communicate in a positive way”
I would strongly recommend Civilised separations! Thank you Bill!”
and to identify the core problems in a relationship and then create an environment where both individuals learn to understand each other without blame, recrimination or falling back into the same old doom-loop. It made me look at my relationship in a very different way and made me a better person. I can categorically say that I would not be married today if my partner and I had not worked with Bill.”
An amicable divorce can feel out of reach when things are tense, though it's more achievable than most people expect. Drawing on our latest podcast episode, we look at the practical steps that help separating parents build a co-parenting relationship that actually works.
Many parents worry that separating will harm their children, though the evidence points to conflict between parents as what matters most. Drawing on our latest podcast episode, we look at the signs a child may be struggling and the small, everyday things that help them feel settled.
Bill and Bella Hewlett talk about what it takes to manifest a good divorce, from seeing the relationship rather than the person as the thing that needs fixing, to the small, deliberate moments that help co-parents get on. It's a hopeful and practical conversation for any parent who wants their separation to lead somewhere better.
Separation doesn't take away a child's unconditional love. What gets in the way is conflict between parents. Bella and Bill Hewlett explain why, and what helps children actually feel that love rather than just receive it.
