What's wrong with divorce in the UK?
Divorce and separation can often feel like uncharted territory, fraught with tension and uncertainty. In the UK, the divorce process is frequently described as adversarial and focused on blame, leaving families at odds and creating lasting conflict. However, there is hope for a more compassionate and connective approach.
In this episode of the Conflict to Connection podcast, experts from Civilised Separations discuss how families can navigate divorce with empathy, understanding, and a focus on positive outcomes for children.
The Problem with the UK Divorce Process:
In the UK, the divorce process often feels akin to a courtroom drama, with both parties assuming adversarial roles. The emphasis is on apportioning blame, rather than fostering understanding and connection. Bill, a post separation repair specialist, highlights how this approach can exacerbate conflict and ignore the deeper dynamics at play. Mediation, while an alternative, often focuses more on the specifics of disputes rather than addressing the underlying emotional and relational issues.
Learning from Australia: A Reflective Approach
In Australia, the introduction of Family Relationship Centres has revolutionised the separation process. Pivotal to this transformation was the focus on reflection and self-awareness, helping parents to consider their own roles in conflict and to understand the emotional impacts on their children. This reflection has been shown to foster cooperation over conflict, leading parents to actively participate in creating harmonious post-separation relationships.
The Power of Child-Inclusive Mediation:
An essential component of Bill's approach is child-inclusive mediation. Bella, a Mediator/Child Consultant at Civilised Separations, explains the profound impact of involving children in the mediation process, allowing their voices to inform how parental conflict is managed. While some parents fear this approach believing it might burden their children, the reality is that many children feel empowered and relieved to be part of the conversation, offering valuable insights that can guide healthier family dynamics.
A Call for Change in the UK:
The conversation invites a shift in the UK’s approach to separation and divorce, moving towards more customised, empathetic processes. By incorporating reflective practices, and prioritising the wellbeing of children through CIM, families can navigate this challenging time with greater compassion and collaboration.
Why Civilised Separations?
Changing the divorce narrative in the UK requires embracing a kinder, more constructive approach. At Civilised Separations, we’re committed to facilitating this change. If you're contemplating divorce or assisting clients through theirs, consider booking a free consultation with us. Discover how our services can help restructure family relationships for the better. For more insights and resources, explore our website or listen to the full podcast episode at CivilisedSeparations.co.uk.
Let’s change the story of separation. One conversation at a time.
Written by Mitch Wilkins